More and more cuddles for baby
Feb
When baby is born, all we want is to share moments with them, hold them in our arms and cover them in kisses. So why do some of my loved ones tell me to be careful not to cuddle baby too much? Does it really have a negative impact on them?
Why does baby need cuddles?
Cuddles are essential for baby’s healthy sensory and cognitive development. The sense of touch (through kisses and cuddles) stimulates the feel-good and growth hormones in particular. As for their little brain, it needs your arms to develop the right connections. A baby who lacks affection will, for example, find it very hard to cope with strong emotions much later on. On the other hand, a baby who grows up in a warm family environment becomes an adult with better mental health, less stressed and happier.
How do cuddles help their development?
Cuddles are essential for your baby. Your very first gestures with them truly shape their development. Babies need lots of physical contact and to be rocked. Cuddles (and any other kind of affection) create a little bubble in which your baby feels safe and loved. It is during the first four to six months of their life that you build an emotional bond with them. So your relationship with your little one begins with these tender gestures.
Why does mum need cuddles too?
It's not only your baby who needs to receive love: giving it does you a world of good too. By cuddling your baby, you first of all build that very close bond between you. What's more, when you manage to soothe and calm them with your affection, you'll feel special to them and a certain sense of pride. But don't worry, there are other ways to show your love. Don't feel guilty if you're not much of a cuddler. You can, for example, rely on little attentive games and small rituals to build a special relationship
I've been told not to always respond when my baby cries. Is that true?
We’ve all had advice from family or friends telling us not to pick baby up too much. According to them, the risk is that baby will become demanding. But that’s not true: baby needs you and your arms. Before 18 months, their brain is unable to develop strategies to get anything at all. So the idea of a tantrum doesn’t exist at this age. When baby cries, they are mostly expressing their need to be reassured. By responding, you help them feel loved and secure.
Why do people tell me I'm "spoiling" my baby?
People often wrongly confuse a cherished child with a spoilt child. A cherished child is a baby who receives lots of cuddles and displays of tenderness. They develop positively in an affectionate environment. A spoilt child is a child whose parents are too permissive or lenient, but it has nothing to do with the tenderness they are given. Don’t worry, this notion of permissiveness comes much later and doesn’t apply to newborns. So you can cover baby in kisses without any worries.
Cover baby in cuddles: yes! Fall asleep with them in your arms: no!
This practice, known as “accidental co-sleeping” or “reactive co-sleeping”, exposes your newborn to many risks: breathing difficulties, suffocation and also falls. Enjoy the moments when your baby falls asleep on you, but as soon as you feel your eyes closing, gently lay them down in their little cot or their Moses basket. Even if a snap of dad with baby asleep on his tummy would look great on your Instagram, don’t drift off into the land of nod at the same time as them…
All in all, kisses, cuddles, tickles and every other sign of affection can only be good for your baby's healthy development. Don't hold back: shower them with love!
Dylan
Proud dad of three little ones and founder of Premiers Moments. Together with the whole team, I share our parenting tips here to support you, from pregnancy through your child's first years.
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